top of page
  • Writer's pictureJoy Durham Harlow

How a small decision can turn your life around: Mastering "I" thought.

When I was a little girl I had dreams of going to college. I always knew I wanted my PhD, this was a goal that I had from a very young age. As I grew, and it seemed the time to decide about the future was near, the direction which I would take had made a slight detour. I loved to help people, to solve problems and make messy situations somewhat clearer; however, I also loved to dance! I had been dancing for many, many years and was currently studying at the Rochester City Ballet with an acceptance to the Alvin Aliey American Dance Theater in NYC. The decision between college and a career as a professional dancer had me torn; I wanted both and loved the idea of both as career options. My love for both was quickly outweighed by reality; one thing that I knew for sure was an opportunity as a professional dancer would NOT LAST FOREVER. For me it was clear the comfortable option would be to go to college, complete my degrees and become a therapist.

I choose to move to NYC to fulfill my dreams as a professional dancer; I mean, let’s be honest, how many people really get offered this as an opportunity! Long story short, the days I spent in NYC over the next twelve years were some of THE BEST DAYS of my life. Had I never stepped outside of the box and away from my comfort zone I would have never had so many tremendously valuable experiences and met so many incredibly talented and well-respected individuals.

So, what is the bottom line here?

A lot of times we sit on the sidelines just waiting; waiting for things to happen. Somewhere in our brain it seems that we believe or hope that a magical poof would just drop out of the sky to make decisions for us. We wait to marry, of course! we must meet the right person. We wait to change our career path; we say we don’t have the time to invest right now or we can’t afford to go back to school; so, we wait (this waiting thing is becoming old and repetitive! Lol). We wait to have children; we wait until we are “financially stable” (whenever that is!). All this waiting is occurring until we feel like we have reached the “right moment” in life to execute a plan (does this sound silly yet!?).

How many adults do you know that have the exact life that they have always had dreams of? The perfect planned out life? Don’t get me wrong, planning is essential! However, overindulging in establishing the idea of a perfect life before you even begin living can be the demise of a beautiful and perfectly capable journey of excellence. I understand the desire to want to complete the goal! Completing the goal is necessary. However sometimes you must step out of the box, cross the rainbow and go down the yellow brick road to get to that goal; AND THAT IS OK! Who wants to stay in the box anyway!?(it’s lonely in there! Lol) The problem with staying in the box is that we are not living our best life! We are NOT living in excellence! We must transform our thinking! We must remove sedentary thoughts of “I’ll wait until it happens” and replace those thoughts with what am “I” doing to make this happen! The “I” train!!! “I” thought; must begin with you! You must always have a blueprint and a flexible mind, you will find comfort and transformation in stepping outside of the box. The goal here is to live your BEST life! To live your BEST life, you must have a plan understanding slight detours are expected. Map out a blueprint and execute a plan effectively; expecting a possible shift. When a shift occurs like waves in the ocean move with it and not against it. After all you have been created for this! (By the way I am in the process of working on my PhD!)

Live a life of excellence in everything that you do. Namaste.

39 views2 comments

Recent Posts

See All


Joy Durham Harlow
Joy Durham Harlow
Apr 01, 2019

Thank you so much Teresa! Are you looking to hire a coach or to get certified as a coach? Either way! I can help you with that! Just let me know! I appreciate the love and support.


Apr 01, 2019

YAY!! I'm so happy you are pursuing a life long dream, and I know it's not easy! I would love to do coaching, let me know how to go about it if I can, or to inspire in any other way. Good luck in all your endeavors!



MA Psychology

Yoga instructor

Reiki Master

bottom of page